Fuck Yeah! Tanuki!

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I AM TANUKI MISTRESS.

The blog was originally made for translating the sex threads of visualtanuki for the lolz. I've branched out a little. However, I'm still not here for bangya-related wank. Please direct any comments about fans/bangya to fuckyeahbangya.

Pretty much all of the info about specific band guys on this blog is a rumor. That means that it is up to you to decide whether or not you believe it is true.

Not to be answering any questions phrased as "Is there anything on ______?" Find a specific question to ask or I will delete your request immediately. I will sometimes answer specific requests for information from tanuki and I will answer some general questions about the Japanese music industry/bandomen in general.

Want to email something long?
tanukimistress [@] gmail.com

(I'm always happy for personal anecdotes about bandomen or any other gossip you come across, on tanuki or otherwise. Feel free to send me an email or submit to the blog.)

Please use the search function below before asking me any questions about specific band translations. You can search by band name or member name. Please also check the tag page and the "useful tags" list below.

If you have any questions, make sure you read the FAQ before you send them to me. Your question may have already been answered. A thousand times.
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Asker Anonymous Asks:
Talking about VK bands popularity, I read a press article yesterday about X Japan's concerts in Japan being sold out in 1 second but that band is so old so are they still THAT popular? it seems crazy.
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Yes. You should see the Japanese news articles here. Like every time Yoshiki sets foot in Japan he gets followed by giant crowds of people and they write news articles about it. It kills me.

X Japan also suffers from the “we never do concerts” problem, so that helps matters. More people are willing to show up to see you perform when you only do so once every few years or so.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
So, Larc is big, like, really BIG, I didnt know that but its no surprise for me since Im not a fan of them. And I personally thought Gazette was something more popular than what you say. Sorry if the question is annoying, but then how really famous are in Japan, lets say Dir En Grey or Gackt? I have the impression that they are quite popular but now I feel I have lived deceived (?)
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Dir en grey and Gackt are both sort of a different kind of beast. It’s hard to really quantify Dir en grey’s popularity because they’ve had so many fans come and go because of their various changes in image - so, for instance, there are a lot of people who have stopped going to shows because they think they’re too violent/aggressive now, but still listen to the music and consider themselves fans. They’re also difficult to rank by the size of venue they can play, because while they can sell out Budokan without a problem, they deliberately choose to play smaller venues the majority of the time. 

Broadly speaking, Dir en grey is another of those bands that is popular in the world of rock/visual-kei fans but not outside it. Big fish in a small pond, blah blah. They do have the advantage of having been active for over 15 years, though, so that has earned them a certain amount of name recognition, especially since they’ve influenced a lot of younger artists. But are they popular in the grander scheme of Japanese music? Not so much.

Gackt is…indescribable. Because Gackt isn’t just a musician - he’s a fucking empire. Singing, acting, variety show appearances, commercials…basically, Gackt is inescapable. So it really doesn’t make much sense to try to categorize Gackt’s popularity in terms of visual-kei artists, especially since Gackt has technically been in the realm of pop for the last fifteen years or so. But yeah, he’s popular. Or at least quite well-known. No doubt about that.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Did you still have any interest in translating that conversation where girls said how much of a bitch Ruki is? (If you had it saved)
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

I don’t have it saved, actually…or if I do, it’s lost somewhere amongst the myriad of files on my computer. Sorry. I used to be better about being organized with this shit, but then the blog started to feel too much like work, and I gave up. XD

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I noticed in the translations about Aoi (the Gazette) that there isn't mention of cunnilingus. Could that mean he outright doesn't do that, or it just isn't mentioned?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Do you expect me to actually know the answer to this? It could be either.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
does bandoman know they're being paired to other member of the band by fans? what they opinion about it?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

I can’t imagine that they don’t. It’s not like yaoi fanworks aren’t something that happens in Japan, too, and it isn’t like bands haven’t riled it up with fanservice.

That said, I’ve honestly never spoken to any bandomen about this topic. The last thing I’d want to do is make myself appear knowledgeable about the world of pretending bandomen are fucking other bandomen for the perverse pleasure of bangya. I’m pretty sure expressing an interest in discussing the topic would send a good percentage of bandomen running away screaming.

Maybe one of my readers has discussed this with their bandomen friends and can be more enlightening.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
People always say uruha is small but on pics he has an almost uncomfortable looking trouser bulge. Oh well maybe he really is that much of a poser. Feels the need to stuff a sock or five down.
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

The size of a man’s bulge isn’t actually always correlated to their cock size erect. There’s lots of other factors to take into account like how they position their dick in their pants, the size of their balls, the difference between their flaccid and erect state, etc. I wouldn’t read too much into a man’s trouser bulge if I were you.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
There was a promotional video of Royz' company letting all their bands play twister against each other. When Kuina played he tried to bite the butt of a bandman stretched into his face and later rubbed his hand against a place which looked like that bandman's crotch from behind. I have no idea if he seriously rubbed the dude's balls but it looked like Kuina's hand dove between that guy's legs and rubbed *something*. Has tanuki or anyone else ever talked about him doing something similar, lol?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Uh…if he were doing shit like that outside of official videos and such like the ones you mentioned, why would girls who post on tanuki even know about it? Unless he’s bringing his male friends to drinking parties and groping them for girls’ enjoyment?

Also, I’m not sure anyone would really find this worth mentioning in the first place. I mean, have you actually met any guys? A good number of them take the piss out of each other constantly by doing stupidly sexually suggestive stuff for the lolz. Like seriously, ask sports players what happens in locker rooms.

tl;dr is I’m not sure how to even answer your question or what you actually want to know.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Does only Kuina act that way or is the whole band like this, groping girls and saying sexual stuff to them?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

I’ve seen my fair share of instore pictures of Subaru kissing/groping girls as well, but I haven’t really heard any complaints about it, so I presume the girls are down for it when he does it? Like maybe he asks their permission first or something? XD

That said, I haven’t really been checking to see if he’s made people uncomfortable. There probably have been at least some girls who didn’t like it, though. Also, Kuina seems to zero in on the gaijin girls and a lot of them have complained about it, so that might be why I’ve heard so much wank about Kuina and not as much about Subaru.

Not quite sure about the other members, tho.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Do you have any information about Hoshino Hidehiko? (Buck Tick), This man called my attention deeply. would like to know more about it especially in more deprived areas. Thanks!!! :*
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Check out his tag, BB. Most of the gossip I’ve ever seen about him is just pretty boring stuff about his wife and kids, though. He doesn’t seem to be up for creating much drama.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Talking abou butt groping I'm really sorry that I wrote "rebutt" instead of "rebut" by the way...
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

It’s a testament to how perfect that is that I didn’t even notice the typo. XD