Fuck Yeah! Tanuki!

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I AM TANUKI MISTRESS.

The blog was originally made for translating the sex threads of visualtanuki for the lolz. I've branched out a little. However, I'm still not here for bangya-related wank. Please direct any comments about fans/bangya to fuckyeahbangya.

Pretty much all of the info about specific band guys on this blog is a rumor. That means that it is up to you to decide whether or not you believe it is true.

Not to be answering any questions phrased as "Is there anything on ______?" Find a specific question to ask or I will delete your request immediately. I will sometimes answer specific requests for information from tanuki and I will answer some general questions about the Japanese music industry/bandomen in general.

Want to email something long?
tanukimistress [@] gmail.com

(I'm always happy for personal anecdotes about bandomen or any other gossip you come across, on tanuki or otherwise. Feel free to send me an email or submit to the blog.)

Please use the search function above before asking me any questions about specific band translations. You can search by band name or member name. Please also check the tag page and the "useful tags" list below.

If you have any questions, make sure you read the FAQ before you send them to me. Your question may have already been answered. A thousand times.
FAQ
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Asker Anonymous Asks:
600.000yen for an abortion? wtf! Japanese told me its fcking cheap! around 20.000 to 60.000 or something. I/they could be wrong so. never had abortion lol...
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

never had abortion lol...

Are we seriously fucking laughing about abortions now? Jesus, I’m a callous fucking bitch, but abortions aren’t something to laugh about.

And…are you fucking kidding me? I’ve never had an abortion either, but would you really believe anyone who has told you that you could get an abortion for 20,000 yen (i.e. about 200 USD or 140 Euro?). An outfit from a Japanese brand name gyaru store costs more than that. I just…I can’t. Although at least if abortions were that cheap, it would almost make sense the way that some Japanese girls have them as often as some people change their goddamn underwear.

OMFG.

Anyway. I looked it up after you said this. And it seems that up to twelve weeks and six days (i.e. before you hit 13 weeks of pregnancy), abortions cost between 80,000 and 100,000 yen - which is still fairly cheap, I suppose, but not nearly as cheap as you’ve been led to believe. However, if you’re between 13 weeks and 20 weeks and 6 days (prior to 21 weeks), it’s between 500,000 and 600,000 yen.

Excuse me while I have morbidly amusing times figuring out how many abortions I could have per year if they were only 20,000 yen, without affecting my lifestyle. Now I am disturbed. So fucking disturbed.

JFC everyone, just use birth control.

I’m going to go die a little right now.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Mistress, how old are you?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

fuckyeahbangya:

fuckyeahtanuki:

fuckyeahbangya:

Nonny, I’m not Mistress.

As for my age, I’m under 25.

LOL, don’t you love how some people absolutely cannot differentiate between us, still? Even after I put I AM TANUKI MISTRESS in all caps in my blog description.

fuckyeahtanuki = Tanuki Mistress
fuckyeahbangya = Dictator Bangya

Get it right, bitches!

They’ll never get it right. We’re cursed to be stuck with this shit forever.

Kill me now lolol

At least no one is messaging anymore saying we’re the same person.

Don’t jinx it, BB.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Mistress, how old are you?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

fuckyeahbangya:

Nonny, I’m not Mistress.

As for my age, I’m under 25.

LOL, don’t you love how some people absolutely cannot differentiate between us, still? Even after I put I AM TANUKI MISTRESS in all caps in my blog description.

fuckyeahtanuki = Tanuki Mistress
fuckyeahbangya = Dictator Bangya

Get it right, bitches!

Someone was kind enough to send a link to Iori (ex-cocklobin)’s FB, which just for all you doubters out there, he posted a link to from his twitter.
(It’s here: https://www.facebook.com/iori.minamoto/about)

Here is a screenshot of what people are talking about - unless Iori seriously doesn’t understand how to use FB, he does seem to publicly admit to being gay.

So there’s another openly gay JRocker for your tiny collection.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi, Mistress! According to 【彼女アリしょんゴリ】Royz昴【ゴリラ】6, Subaru (Royz) is in need of money recently. It is also rumored that his girlfriend (bangya?) got pregnant (again, lol) and he needs 600.000 for her to make an abortion... Well, hope I got it right, Tanuki slang is insane
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Dude should use condoms. Cheaper than paying for multiple abortions, methinks.

This is gonna be a rather random request, and I'm sure there might not be anything since they aren't in visual, but ah, any sex stories about Yusuke Chiba (The Birthday, ROSSO, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant) in particular?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

Not that I’ve ever seen. Again, tanuki is for v-kei. You can find band threads for non-VK bands on regular 2ch, but as far as I’ve ever seen, the sex story threads are purely a tanuki phenomenon.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
all the gay rumors are in the 2ch? there are any one amusing?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

There are pretty much no gay rumors on 2ch. Yaoi fangirls, calm teh titties.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I love your kindness. ... :D♥
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

…I can’t tell if this is sarcasm or not. XD #internetproblems

Asker Anonymous Asks:
This could be very old, but does Tanuki say something about the reason behind Gisho leaving Penicillin?
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

hideko69:

fuckyeahtanuki:

I don’t even think tanuki existed back when Gisho left Penicillin. There’s likely something back on regular 2ch, but that’s even more of a pain to go back through than tanuki is.

I remember hearing at the time that his wife wanted him to quit, or something? Plus at the time, he was in charge of some company (which has now gone bankrupt, I think?), so if I remember the story correctly, his wife wanted him to focus on that, or something? It was a long time ago, but I remember hearing some shit to that effect.

At the time I heard that he was actually banned from the band because he was using some secret documents or some shit involving the band in benefit of that company you talk about. Of course, without permission.

Penicillin is a funny case. It’s always been like two mini-bands in one, O-jiro and Chisato and then Hakuei and Gisho.

LOL, I could believe that.

Asker rinpurin Asks:
To the people who actually believe the shit on tanuki: My ameblo got posted in a thread, claiming I was Satsukis tsunagari. Well, thanks unknown bangya, even I didn't know I was his tsunagari myself. That's how trustworthy the stuff on Tanuki is. \o/ (this made my day ... I wonder why they assume it's Satsuki of all bandmen out there. I'm not even a fan or anything)
fuckyeahtanuki fuckyeahtanuki Said:

LOL, all you people with your extreme views. “This one thing on tanuki was a lie, SO IT’S ALL LIES!!!” / “Everything on tanuki is TRUFAX!!!111oneone”

Anyone ever stop to think that it’s somewhere in the middle? Calm the titties with your world is black and white bullshit.